Thoughts
by Brummie-Babe
Summary: 9thDoctor needs time to think before he takes action into the death of a close friend SPOILER: BADWOLF


**SPOILER** **WARNING**: **_Bad_** **_Wolf_**

**Disclaimer**: Doctor Who belongs to other people that I don't know.

**Authors** **Notes**: The doctor reacts fantastically, or so I believe, when Rose appears to have died and I just HAD to write about it. This is my first Doctor Who fic that I've put up. I wrote it quickly so please allow for any punctuation or grammatical mistakes. Cheers

**Summary**: Rose is dead, the doctor is not happy. What's he thinking?

"No." I whisper as it hits her. The lightening consumes her body for a split second before she disappeared into a cloud of dust that promptly falls to the floor with a swish. Jack shoots, Jack hits, Jack shouts, he's shouting for her, at them, she's dead because of them.

Sweet Lynda stands behind me, shocked. She got to see her, Rose I mean, Lynda got to see Rose, the woman…no the girl I would risk my life for, run in the way, throw herself in front of me. Maybe it was unintentional, maybe she was running for the exit but it still doesn't make me feel any better. She died because I was trying to save her. She died!

Oh God, she's dead.

Rose, Rose, I'm so sorry! But that doesn't make any difference. Its all my fault Rose isn't Rose anymore. She's billions of atoms floating around, in a pile on the floor, unknowing. Oh God Rose.

Jack is still shouting. He's standing by the Annedroid, screaming his head off at the floor manager, at the robot standing in the centre, dead to the world. He's shouting at anyone, at me, all about Rose. I can't think of anything, I just need a few…just give me a few minutes. I can't act. What has this girl done to me in this short time?

She's gone, my best friend, my companion, my trustee, all gone in no time at all. I love…loved her, the way she smiles up at me, the way she sticks her tongue in between her teeth slightly and then smiles up at me. Her hand, that perfectly small hand, that fitted so perfectly into mine, that belonged in mine. The way she finds good in everyone, the faults of her mother she so kindly puts right. She was my companion and I can't cry. I don't cry, no emotion except shock. I can't speak.

The guards grab me from behind and I let them, the only thought running through my head is of Rose. I have forgotten about everything else, everything that lead up to this and I'm staring, middle distance is my friend at the moment. I can hear Jack still shouting, but what I don't know.

They take the three of us away, I had forgotten about Lynda completely, I wish I hadn't brought her with me now, she's going to die just like Rose. Oh sweet dear little 20th century ape. I should never have brought her, never told her to come with me, never left Ricky…Mickey. Should never have told her that Bad Wolf meant nothing. Should have told them my fears and hopes.

They're going to pay for what they did to her! She deserved to live.

I'm waiting, waiting for the perfect moment to act. Jack has stopped talking, he's waiting as well. We taught him well…Rose taught him well.

"Lets go." It happened so quickly, I just keep going, Jack does most of it, that strong body fitter than mine hidden beneath this leather jacket. We find ourselves on level 500, it's changed slightly but is as creepy as 100 years ago, no monster on the ceiling though.

I talk, I keep talking, I act like very little has happened to me, like she was just a casualty of war but that woman.

"Ok, now that sentence just lost you the right to talk to me." I snap bitterly and keep talking, keep working, keep thinking.

Oh Rose! I'll never forget you! I'll sort this out for you, I promise.

Suddenly Jack speaks,

"Rose is still alive." Oh My God…how? She's? Yes! I hug Jack quickly and a smile spreads quickly across my face. I'm coming Rose, I'm coming for you and I'm going to make up for what happened and you're going to realise how sorry I am and how much I will do to get you back. I will not rest until I find you!

Not even that half a million Darleks can stop me because I love you, we love you and we three belong together! Not even this can stop me. I won't let you die again, not after I just found you alive! I'm coming Rose, I'm coming for you!


End file.
